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I didn’t want to spend the time to create a creative or meaningful title, because what matters is the post itself. I guess there’s just been too much to handle, and I have to vent somewhere, eh?
Senior year has been hectic as hell, I really don’t see how it could be chill. I just hope I make it through the year in one piece, with acceptable grades, and a good college to go to.
Hope, such a fleeting thought. One moment it’s there, gracing you with it’s presence and beauty, the next: vanished.
Aside from juggling AP Chemistry and Calculus A/B and Calculus 1 from EVC now that I failed the first semester of calculus.. I have performances for an acapella group that I joined this year on Saturday, and then 2 weeks from Saturday I have a Martial Arts performance, probably the biggest event of the year for our club. On top of that, I have three more guitar performances in which I really need to practice, but I’m just so tired all the time..and demoralized too.
I know that I need to constantly try to advance my studies, but the worst part about high school is that there’s no room for breathing. Class after class after class..teachers constantly harping at you for not doing what they expect you to do. Especially Mrs. Aisola. God, sometimes I wish I could go deaf for a while. It is of the worst luck that I had to be grouped with one of the most rambunctious selection of students. They can’t ever seem to shut up, and they always end up making her mad, and in turn, she lectures the ENTIRE class as if it was collectively all our faults. And then whenever we try to calm the class down by ourselves, she gets offended because then our actions tell her that she can’t even do her own job correctly. Jesus Christ it’s a hell hole in there.
But enough of the worrying and the stressing, let us take the subject to a happier note. I love my club and it’s members, it’s really brought the joy into my life. The members fuel my spirits and inspire me to push my limits. They truly are my other family, and the club has in a sense taken root in my veins, and the thought of parting with it makes me want to cry. It hit me this last Saturday when they pulled off this ridiculous stunt by bowing down to me and offering me a 2 liter pepsi and a cupcake after my acapella performance. It was so embarrassing, yet it made me really happy. These kids really make my life good, and it has been a pleasure to meet and get to know each and every one of them. It pains me to know that I won’t get to see how they all turn out.
I only have 3 months left to spend with these wonderful people, and then I’ll probably never see them again..I’m having a really hard time choosing the correct words to express my sentiments, but in reality there is no way to explain how I’m feeling. It’s just too overwhelming, and all I can say is how much I’ve come to love this club and it’s all thanks to my brother for trying to keep the fire burning with martial arts. Even though we differ in our teaching styles and how we govern the club, I would like to think that we’ve made a difference in the lives of our members, because I know he has influenced me in various ways, and I still look to him for advice. I can see that I am influencing others because they can confide in me with their problems, and from there I can help ease the pain they are feeling, or help them resolve those problems completely.
Each of their personalities are so unique, none are alike. It’s like this club has an affinity to collect members that are unalike in so many aspects that somehow it just reverses itself so that we’re all alike (if that makes ANY sense at all).
Ah, well, it’s getting late and I keep blogging I might just blog all night. Good night.
