Dear Brother
Oh Eddie, where should I start? I guess I should say I have come to terms with our brotherly love and now openly accept the fact that I love you as a brother.
As a child, I had this complex where I would shun Eddie’s love because I felt that it was ‘gay’ and weird because guys weren’t supposed to express their love for each other with hugs and whatnot. All throughout our childhood we would argue and fight, quarrel and brawl, scream and kick, but in the end, I feel like I left him behind.
I remember when we would play games, I would always want to be on the side with another player, because I felt secure then. Looking back, I realize I left you in the dark to be on your own and even though it was something so trivial as a game, I still feel terrible for doing it. That’s not what brotherhood is about, and although I don’t fully understand it, I know enough to never abandon you again. You were pretty quiet as a kid, and sometimes people would pick on you. I remember as a kid I never teased you alongside with those bullies, but I never said anything about it and that’s just as bad as teasing you. Even though I’m the younger one and I know now you can take care of yourself probably better than I can, rage courses through my body when people make fun of you. If people are joking, then that’s dismissible, but when people really mean to hurt you, I feel like wrecking them and making minced meat out of them. Just know that no matter what, it’s you and me against the world.
I also said earlier that I wanted to follow in your footsteps academically, but I’ve failed to do so over and over again. It’s not that I’m giving up because the road is too difficult, it’s just I’ve realized that we are indeed two different people, no matter how similar we are. That plays into what I want to do with my life as I grow older. You know right now my passion lies fully in music, and I can’t get it out of my mind. I just hope that my dream and my pursuit of that dream won’t cause the burdens of the family to come raining down on you. We both know how being a musician is like, hit or miss. And even though I don’t want to be a full-time musician, but if I don’t commit to this dream, how am I ever going to achieve it? I hope that you’ll be there to support me along the way, just like I will support you in your decisions to pursue whatever career is in your future interests.
Also, it would be totally badass if I can get into Davis with you. It’s always been an aspiration of mine to live together with you without mom and dad. I never want us to become like others in our family.
I don’t want to write anymore, I’m getting too sappy. But lastly, I love you Eddie, you’re the greatest brother in the whole world and I will always be grateful for the sacrifices you’ve had to make for me, as well as the overwhelming support that you’ve given to me.
